Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How external is "for external use only"?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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