soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
