a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
