p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
