so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
