Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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