Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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