You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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