she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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