I wish i was in the wii world.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
