can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
