Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
