I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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