My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
