I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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