dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize