You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
