end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
