why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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