just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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