I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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