dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
