sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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