You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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