I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
