I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
