we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
