My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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