His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude. I can hear the air.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
