How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
