he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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