she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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