id be glad to
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
