im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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