i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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