my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
