you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
