i permit you to call me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
