Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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