I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
