I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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