D3 body, D1 cock
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
