there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
