So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
