this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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