So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
