Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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