Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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