so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
