If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
