I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
