Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
